Tuesday, May 29, 2012

The Capture The Flag Flow Chart: How To Win A Battle In World of Tanks

This past weekend, I'm in a tough battle in my Marder II. 

What my Marder II may look like

I did the dying part, and watched as it came down to my last 2 teammates vs. 3 enemies.  My teammates -- an M4 and a tier 4 Russian TD -- entered the enemy flag circle before 2 of the enemies could enter ours.  The capture clock was going to be close, but we were just a few seconds ahead of the 5 second window to avoid a draw, and win the battle!

Suddenly, the 3rd enemy appeared on the horizon -- a small artillery -- he fires when we are deep into the 80ish seconds area of the capture-clock.  He misses, landing between my two teammates.

"YES!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHA!!!  Now, he has to reload, with not enough time for that AND my teammates can possibly make a long-disance shot and take him out!!!"

But then, to my horror, I see it: our M4 ... he ... he leaves the flag capture to go and kill the artillery....

He does exactly, precisely, the _only_ thing he could have done to cause a loss.

I raged, railed, moaned, kicked the cat, beat the dog and burned-down my neighborhood.

So, wanting to convey just _how_ bad of a decision this is/was, I took all of 30 seconds and made this really, really bad flow chart on how to/what to/the 1,2,3s of doing whatever to win (or lose) a battle in World of Tanks.

Ergo, "The Capture The Flag Flow Chart":
A really, really, bad flowchart that tries to illustrate what one can/should/must do to win a battle in World of Tanks and/or, lose one (note: you sukc if you plan to lose)

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Who is fatkiddown?

I get asked this a lot.  I must admit, I'm a mystery even to myself.  It goes way back, the mystery of me.

This Spaniard I once fought asked just prior to the event, "who are you fatkiddown?..."

Everyone's always asking me, "do you know fatkiddown?"

Am I the fkd on the left? or on the right?

You cannot know rly, who I am -- you must know?  Well, get used to disappointments...

There are clues however.  I thought I'd tease/help  you out by listing stuff people have said about fatkiddown:

"You are the most articulate and intelligent bastard I've ever known."

"You are like saliva, you encourage digestion."

"I hate you! [Usually preceeded and/or followed by] I love you!"

"Your stats suck.  He should not play with you."

Back in my biker days....

"You're fucking cancer."

"You are really good in bed."

"You're not that good in bed."

"Boy, you fucked-up just then...."

"fatkiddown, you got hacks or something?"

"You're retarded and your w/r is puny"

[This last one sounds very similar to what a woman once said:]

"You're stupid and puny"

[Odd thing, another woman once said to me:]

"It hurts!" <-- if only that were my thingy I was using....

Me in my (cloaked-jedi) halloween costume worn last Oct.
I felt, when fully closed, it robbed me of the better look

"Well done fatkiddown, (golf clap)" <-- was this regarding: A. a video game, B. sex or C. golf?

"Let's see if we can save the fat from the fire." <-- sed to me in kollage, by a prof. who had no clue I was indeed, _the_ FKD....

"You can have anything you want from our family.  Just name it.  We owe you that."

"Get out of here! Stay away from my family! Never come back!"

"Thank you god!" <-- overheard whispered by a woman just after we deed eet

"I pray god never makes me do that again" <-- overheard whispered by a woman just after we deed eet

"You are a perfect example of what a good player is" <-- was this regarding: A. a video game, B. my ability to pick-up women in a bar? C. my abilities at guitar?

"You are a perfect example of what a suck player is" <-- was this regarding: A. a video game, B. my ability to pick-up women in a bar? C. my abilities at guitar?

"You suck and your blog sucks too."

"Lol! Read your entire blog, love it!"

And last but not least:

"Please, can you just stop talking?..."

Me at a bar just this past weekend

Monday, May 7, 2012

How to get free credits in World of Tanks

1st, take advantage of the recent promotional:

Victory Day Bonus Code

2nd, go to your garage, click on, "Depot."

3rd, choose on the left hand side of the "Depot" menu the "Consumables" selection.  Make sure to also select, "On Vehicles" and then, "My Vehicles." This will list all consumables.

4th, simply left-click on the recently added "gold" consumables you got through the promo code to sell them.

These will be:
  • Extra Combat Rations
  • Case of Cola
  • Chocolate
  • Improved Combat Rations
  • Strong Coffee
The stacks will sell x5 each for 50,000 credits a pop.  x5, that's 250,000 credits for free!

A lot of grinding done in no time!

(Note: some accounts will not have all "gold consumes" available.  That is, if you do not have the Chinese T59, etc.  A friend who just made an account this weekend had acccess to 3 stacks of sellable consumes instead of 5, and made 150k instead -- still!...)



Saturday, May 5, 2012

The March of The E-75

"Comrades fast and little, fearful and brittle, follow me as I drive,"
 Said the lumbering hulk, that huge steel bulk, known as the E-75.

"Many guns have they, but scared I say, are they as much as we."
 And he turned and faced, like a runner at race, the sun it seemed with glee.

All were amazed, dark smoke was raised, from the mouths of his great exhaust,
 And thus drove on, that leviathan, who seemed not to know the cost.

As though pulled along, his brethren fell on, his flanks but not ahead,
 Of the great dark hunk, that towering chunk, rolling on as an ominous dread.

It wasn't long, before a sniper song, of pings and chinks and lead,
 Speckled his coat, battle-worn and smote, in a hail that he could not shed.

Still on he stroked, through the churned-black smoke, toward their battle-line,
 Some comrades bowed, as he continually plowed, now with holes where
 metal shined.

Enemies alit, and seeming to quit, he stopped dead in his tracks,
 but not with fear, for he was sincere, and raised his great gun-rack.

His aim was true, and soon all knew, his gunner was not poor.
 He killed a tank, who realized too late, this was no easy score.

On he marched, soon all took part, in the awe that he inspired,
 And more and more, of the enemy core, came to end his furious ire.

Then larger tanks, filled the ranks, of those opposed to him,
 And damage deep, into him seeped, for his engine with fire brimmed.

Now his tracks, turned into wax, for foes had shot them out,
 And in this arena, of the goddess Athena, they meant to end his route.

They must assemble, instead of tremble, if they wish to bring him down,
 So all surrounded, hammered and pounded, this titan commanding the ground.

Round after round, blow after blow, landed into his hull,
 He refused to show, and he refused them know, that soon his life they'd cull.

Turned this way and that, like dragon spit and spat, he seemed to damage all.
 They were amazed, bright-eyed they gazed, for he refused to fall.

Now most his life, had gone away, and soon the end would come,
 But not before, he felled four more, who thought that he was done.

And so he died, while none could hide, him seeing his gamble pay,
 As they had ignored, his brethren corps, who capitalized on the day.

The last enemy died, and some did cry, o'er the hulk who had no fear,
 Who instead had chose, give his life for those, fast and little and dear.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Can I has a can of air?

Apparently, there is a mo' betta way to give blow jobs now, vs., the old, dangerous, way.  It's the:

Canless Air Systems O2 Hurricane Computer Duster!

It slices, dices and juliennes! (wtf does juliennes mean?), and look at that shine!

It will produce approx. 150mph air flow for upwards of 18 minutes, and has 500 charges.  It will apparently replace $100s, if not $1000s of dollars in cost for old-fashioned, chemical-based, gas-based, "canned air."

And eets about $80.

The _only_ question I have, is: how fast is the air flow that comes out of old-fashioned, sucky "canned-air?"  If it is significanly faster than 150mph, then you might be tempted to reach for a can of it the next time you have some stubborn debris, and the fancy/shmancy new fangled, Canless Air Systems O2 Hurricane Computer Duster! don't cut it.

Please someone tell me how fast old-fashioned canned air-flow is -- my googles skills are t3h fails....

And now, a couple more images of folks using the Canless Air Systems O2 Hurricane Computer Duster!