Friday, September 20, 2013

Melted Faces

My first/original title for this rant was:
fatkiddown: a novice student of evolution, science, materialism, philosophy, art, bubblegum and low carb diets that include beer's take on World of Tanks

^That sucked!  Or did it?  I think "Melted Faces" is more catching ne how....

Lemme continue (who can stop me?)

I am writing this to the aliens what will find a spent-earth 1.2 billion years from now, after all of humanity is gone, and all life is gone from the planet (they will find only an android-boy and his stuffed/robotic bear, submerged in a vehicle, frozen in the solid-ice-ocean):

In World of Warcraft there was this famous (well, it _was_ famous) meme-thing called: "melting faces."  It went like this: "You will melt faces as a shadow priest in pvp."  (Aaaaand comes through)

faces, melt, will, you -yoda

Playing off of that WoW meme, lemme make (try to make) -- by changing just one letter in WoW -- a WoT meme:

"You will melt stats as a unicorn in wot."

ugh, again:

"You will pad stats as an M7 Priest in pvp."

I'm blowin' it aren't I?

"You will learn to pad stats to put down baddies in WoT, maybe in a priest, not really. You cannot really pad stats in artillery and/or, artillery kills your stats, forgetting the fact that the big-mouthed goodies [shouldn't that be the antithesis to 'baddies'] will hate you for playing artillery ... anyhow, no way this will become a meme, but, see, you will simply go for stats, eventually, no matter how bad or good you are, stats will drive you, in wot, in a tank, melting tanks, and faces, etc...."

Time for: Deep Thoughts with fkd:

Reality is non-existent and/or, simply a matter of how an entity (us) approaches it.  A dog would look at the keyboard/mouse of our computers, logged into wot in a new account we made for them, and not a single fuck would be given.  A dinosaur would crush the computer.  A moth would beat itself fuckless against the monitor.

(How does one beat oneself fuckless?)

The vast majority of the 7 billion+ people on the planet wouldn't bother to touch the keyboard, but would go outside to find food.  A small minority would take interest.  Of that minority, an even smaller set would really play it.

(Just in case you're paying attention, this video game -- _any_ fucking video game -- is a 1st world problem)

Of this set (vastly male and young -- and more likely virgin), a very, very tiny set would try to "beat" the game.  Since the game has no goal, this would evolve (or devolve?) into: those who think "winning" is getting all the tanks and those who "see stats!!!!"

Of the first set, a small minority of those would google/find out about bots, and load those (I saw a guy with 57k games this week), and they might indeed complete all tanks (until next patch -- higher chance of virginity here), but their stats would be utter shit (30s / bright red).

Of the latter set, some would try hard to win in all the tanks they play -- not building 'situational awareness' that some tanks simply suck, and that trying to complete all trees/get all tanks is not practical to stats at all.  They might, finally, after thousands of battles realize that: it's time to pad/focus on tanks that win, and get my stats up! (/Charlies Sheen "WINNING!!!"). <-- it's around this time that seal-clubbing comes-into-play (nuh uh, we don't! unicorns never seal club! none do! liar!!!)

But a very, very small set of this latter set would realize very early, very very early: A. do not chase trees. (fkd idiot! I know this unicorn who _did_ do all the tree! fkd! u r the worst blogger evar!!!)  B. pad with tanks that win/have edge. C. form-up with others who can carry you (and this is the part where the trolls said "win rate is the best measure of skill" -- they've been carried by 'friends' <-- not real friends, just other people on the internet, fact is, they have no friends ["you have no friends, nobody likes you" Gollum-to-Smeagol] tl;dr: win rate is the least measure of the major attributes IMO ... I'll take higher eff/wn7/tiers over win rate any day (but idiot-fkd! you cannot have high those things without high w/r!!!) I know this Mr. Self.  I know this, but within variables.  Stop being so gd black and white and throw some gd gray/grey into your life!!!  I.e., yes, you _can_ find those folks with lower w/r but higher eff/wn7.  It is not huge, and it will be players who are near 100% solo-pub!

And an even tinier set of this latter, latter, latter set (I've lost count/track) would then troll blast others/develop a following of those who also wish to shine with stats, regardless of just how much fun they're really not having anyhow....

tl;dr: it's all about stats....

But regarding events on the forums this summer (and I quit the forums long ago).  I can only offer this:

I'll be got dam if someone didn't get Gollum tatted on they leg..

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